Speaker 1: 0:06

Welcome. Welcome to Self-Care Saturday, on the Sweet Spot where science meets the soul. I'm Dr Derek Sweet. I'm your host. As you know, I'm a board-certified psychiatrist. My specialty is in sports psychiatry and high performance in sports psychiatry and high performance.

Speaker 1: 0:28

So let's be real. Self-care is often the first thing to go when life gets busy. I don't know about you, but I tend to push through my exhaustion. I tend to sometimes ignore my needs and I'll tell myself you know what? I'll just rest later. Does that sound familiar? But here's the truth If we don't take care of ourselves, everything else ultimately suffers.

Speaker 1: 0:54

So today we're breaking down three psychological reasons people neglect self-care and, more importantly, how to fix them. Why do we struggle to care for ourselves? The first of the three reasons is the busy trap Thinking self-care is selfish. The second reason is emotional numbing, avoiding our own needs. And the third reason is the I'll do it later syndrome, waiting for the perfect moment. Let's look at all three of these together. Number one the busy trap. Thinking self-care is selfish.

Speaker 1: 1:42

Social psychology says that modern society glorifies busyness. We equate being overwhelmed with so much to do as being super important. Research actually shows that, like many people feel guilty that happens to me, you feel guilty when you take time for yourself Because there must be something else to do. There's got to be something more productive I can be doing. I couldn't possibly just have this time to just do nothing. So what's the solution for that? Reframe self-care as essential and not indulgent. Self-care is not selfish, it's essential. Taking care of ourselves makes us more effective human beings, not less effective. So we have to treat it like a non-negotiable appointment, because our well-being is the foundation of everything we do, and we know that stress is a silent killer. We don't have to be told this more than once. We know that. So, yes, let's not negotiate. Make ourselves unbusy and take the digital detox, take the time out to get ourselves the care we need. So look, there's a quote from Anne Lamott that I love minutes, including you. Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for just a few minutes, even you. So that's the busy trap. That was number one.

Speaker 1: 3:42

What's the second reason that we don't care for ourselves? Remember we said emotional numbing, avoiding our own needs. This is from the clinical psychology and mindfulness research folks. They say that sometimes we avoid self-care because we don't slow down. And why is that? Because stillness can bring awareness. Now this is interesting when we get still, we suddenly become aware. It's like, oh, I exist, I'm here, I'm a human, what am I doing? And that can feel a bit uncomfortable Mindfulness.

Speaker 1: 4:21

Research tells us that people often cause themselves to overwork and get lost in social media so they can be constantly distracted, so that they don't have to face deeper emotions or deeper truths about themselves. What could you possibly be avoiding by scrolling so much? What could you possibly be avoiding by being so busy? Those are only questions that you can answer, but it's something to think about, because when we numb ourselves with social media, we numb ourselves with television or we numb ourselves with all this activity, we are actually anesthetizing pains or suffering or other things that might be going on underneath that we don't want to deal with. So what's the solution?

Speaker 1: 5:11

Practice what we call mindfulness check-ins, right. So this is how we do it. You take one minute just to pause and ask yourself hey self, what do I need right now? Maybe it's a rest, maybe I need to do some yoga and some stretching, maybe I just need a moment of silence and then listen to your body and your mind without judgment, hear what it's telling you and just be with that for a second. Do you know how many people just don't do this at all? So there you have it. And the ancient wisdom tells us that we have to be still to know who the divine one is. Be still, the Psalms say, and know that I am God. Wow, what's the third reason?

Speaker 1: 6:09

We talked about two reasons people don't care for themselves. The one was a busy trap thinking self-care is selfish. The second one was this whole idea of emotional numbing, avoiding one's own needs. What's the third one? The third one is interesting. It's called the I'll do it later syndrome, waiting for the perfect moment. This is from behavioral psychology. They say that we as humans have a tendency to tell ourselves we'll take care of ourselves when we have more time. Okay, oh man, this spoke. You know I'm telling on myself, right, because the perfect moment will be somewhere down the line. When it's perfect, I'll rest in that moment, and you and I know, okay, that moment just never comes.

Speaker 1: 7:02

Behavioral psychologists call this temporal discounting, when we devalue future well-being in favor of immediate demands. That's so crazy that we would devalue our own future well-being in favor of the immediate demands before us. Everything always seems so important, except you, except me. And what's the solution to that? Because it's our blood pressure, it's our heart rate, it's our lungs and our breathing. It is it's our blood vessels that are all tight and constricted in these immediate demands. These immediate demands can really suck the life out of us. So, so we have to be careful. What's the solution? Well, the behavioral psychologists say we should start small and start now. Okay, don't wait for a spa day.

Speaker 1: 8:04

Self-care is built in micro-moments. Five deep breaths Right now. A 10-minute walk Right now. A glass of water Right now. A stretch Right now.

Speaker 1: 8:22

Tiny, consistent acts of care, my friend, will rewire your brain to prioritize your well-being. It is that simple. Remember you can't pour from an empty cup. You've got to take care and fill yourself up first. So taking care of yourself isn't a luxury, it's a responsibility. And so if you feel guilty about resting, remind yourself a stronger. You helps everyone around you.

Speaker 1: 8:58

If you've been avoiding stillness, my friend, give yourself the permission to slow down right now. If you've been putting off doing something positive for yourself and loving yourself, do something small for you right now, because this is self-care Saturday and you're worth it. You're worth the care that you give to everybody else. Now, go, do one thing for yourself today and be a blessing to someone else tomorrow. This is Dr Sweet. Thank you for listening. This is Self-Care Saturday. You're listening to the Sweet Spot where science meets soul, and we look forward to seeing you tomorrow for Slow Down Sunday. If you'd like more wisdom, more insights, please feel free to join me on X, on Instagram. You can join me on on youtube on threads, and look forward to interacting with you. Take care.