Welcome back. Welcome back to the sweet spot, beautiful souls. I'm Dr. Derek Sweet. I'm a board certified psychiatrist who specializes in peak performance. But more than that, I'm right here with you. Learning what it means to loosen my grip and let life breathe again. You ever be in that position where you kind of need to let go and let God let the grip go, man. It's just been so tight on everything, trying to control it all. Yes, my friends, we've been in a series here called The Seven Releases. This is episode six. And we've been releasing all kinds of things all week. On Monday, we released The Rush. On Tuesday, we released The Lie. On Wednesday, with it all Wednesday, we released The Weight That Wasn't Ours. On Thursday, we released An Old Identity. And yeah, yesterday, yesterday, Friday, Finish Strong Friday, we released the fear of starting over. We find ourselves today in self-care Saturday, stepping into one of the deepest releases of all. Releasing the need for control. And this is a good one. Why do we reach for control? Well, most people aren't trying to control everything because they're controlling, they're doing it because they're scared, they're nervous, they're anxious. Control is what the nervous system reaches for when life feels unpredictable and uncertain. When a relationship shifts, when circumstances feel fragile or weird, when an old wound starts to resurface, maybe when disappointment is still kind of fresh. We tighten our grip. That's what we do. We try to prepare, predict, prevent, protect. I don't know what other P there is out there. We really do. We try to control. We try to control. And control is not a flaw, it's not a problem, except when it gets in the way. Control is not a flaw, it's a survival strategy. But here's the truth you don't need that level of control most of the time. You don't need it anymore. Your nervous system may not know it yet, but your spirit does. And your neuroscience arm here is going to tell you that when you try to control everything, the amygdala, the brain's threat detection center, goes into overdrive. It says, hmm, what is out there? Why do we have to have this much control? Let's hold on tighter. Something might go wrong. And your CEO, the brain's prefrontal cortex, remember that? The part responsible for calm thinking, for flexibility, and for peace. It begins to fade under the pressure. And you begin to feel it in your body, racing thoughts, irritability, shallow breathing, tightness in various parts of your body, the jaw, the neck. Feeling emotionally exhausted all the time. That's the downside of being overly controlling when the brain's amygdala and threat dissection centers start to fire. But here's the beautiful part. There's a good part to this. It's not all bad. Letting go, even a little here on self-care Saturday. That's the message. Even a little of letting go shifts your brain out of threat mode. And your breathing can deepen, your muscles can soften, and your prefrontal cortex will come right back online. And your heart rate will stabilize, your peace will return. So you see, letting go is not a passive, it feels passive when we say let go, breathe, take a breath, just let go of the wheel for a second. It feels passive, but it's a physiological liberation. Your biology and physiology is being liberated when you do that. And the ancient wisdom wants us to do that. In Matthew 11:28 in the message Bible, it says, Watch what God does, learn the unforced rhythms of grace. Watch what God does and learn the unforced rhythms of grace. That's Matthew 11, verse 28 to 30. Now, my King James version, folks, I'm so scared of you all that I'm actually gonna um mention that it does say in the King James, come on to me and I will give you rest. Rest is not something you earn. That's what the message is, that's what I took out of this. You don't earn rest. Rest is something you allow. But control blocks you from allowing yourself to rest. And it's in your rest that so much of your healing can take place. So we do have to figure out a way to release the control. A great book that I'd like you to pick up if you haven't read it already. It's one of the most powerful books on letting go, is David Hawkins' book, Letting Go. The Pathway of Surrender by David Hawkins. Yeah, there's some great insights in this book. And he didn't start out being a believer, he started out as he started out his life as an atheist, became an agnostic, and then later on in life just had the deepest spiritual awakening. You know, it was just such a great story about him, and he's a great author. And his book, uh The Pathway of Surrender, had a few insights that I wanted to share with you today. The first one is releasing is not weakness, letting go is not weakness, it's the purest form, he says, of inner strength. Holding on takes energy, letting go restores it. Another insight he had was whatever you resist in life tends to grow stronger. The more you fight an emotion, the louder and stronger it can become. When you practice release and letting go, you break the loop. It doesn't have the control over you as much. So whatever you resist gets stronger. Another one was you don't solve emotions, you surrender them. You don't think your way out of fear, you release your grip on it. Another one, clarity comes after surrender, not before. Clarity comes after surrender, not before. The next step doesn't become obvious while you're gripping onto everything and holding on so tight. You know when the next step becomes obvious? When you loosen your hand, you let go and you give yourself some room to breathe and allow the spirit to move in. The last insight I'll share with you from this amazing book by David Hawkins, The Pathway of Surrender, Letting Go is your true self is uncovered, not created. Letting go, in other words, isn't self-improvement, it's self-revealing. When we let go, we see who we are. When we're in the control seat all the time, we're not even seeing ourselves, we're just so busy controlling. This book is a great companion to everything we've been practicing this week, and that's why I recommend it. Alright? Absolutely. So your tools of today are one, name the thing you're gripping on to tightly. Say quietly this the thing I'm trying to control is, and it could be somebody's behavior, it could be somebody's approval that you want, it could be a relationship, it could be anything, it could be the outcome of a situation, uh, maybe your own emotions you're trying to control, the future. You name what it is, and when you name it, it begins to relax you, and you unclench your fist a little bit, you're not so tight, your blood vessels aren't so wound up. That's the first two, right? Name the thing you're gripping too tightly and say it out loud. And the second two is the 50% rule. The 50% rule. Which parts of this are actually mine? That's the question when you are tackling some kind of an issue. How much of this belongs to me? And you'll be shocked that maybe 50% belongs to somebody else. You'll be shocked how much drops away when you stop carrying the other half. Like if you just say, Okay, I'm gonna let go of my half, I'm good. Peace will come, and that peace begins with your clarity. So take a deep breath with me and let it out slowly, the exhale being longer than the inhale. Very important that you take a deep breath every day, and say this out loud. I release what I cannot control, and I trust what I cannot see. I release what I cannot control, and I trust what I cannot see. If that's not fate, I don't know what is. Your body knows the truth when it hears it. And notice how when you say, I release what I cannot control, and I trust what I cannot see, how your body responds to that already. You've been listening to The Sweet Spot. This is Dr. Derek Sweet. Thank you for joining us on this release, seven-day release discussion journey that we've been on. Tomorrow we close the series with a release that changes everything. To release, we're calling it the release of the silence. Because your voice is the first door to freedom. So release the silence tomorrow. We have fun with that one. If today spoke to you, share it with someone who's holding everything together but really gets to rest for themselves. And I'll see you tomorrow, beautiful souls. One breath at a time, one release at a time. Stay amazing.