Okay now, welcome. Welcome back. It's Win It All Wednesday here on the Sweet Spot, and we're delighted that you're joining us in our series here, Who You Become After Pressure. This is the third episode in our seven-episode series, Who You Become After Pressure. The title for today's episode is Winning Looks Different Now. Pressure rewrites how success is defined. Winning looks different now. Pressure rewrites how success is defined. Hey my beautiful souls, sweet champs, sweet spotters, welcome back. Welcome back. I'm Dr. Derek Sweet. As you know, I'm a board certified psychiatrist. I treat a lot of high-pressure individuals. At the same time, I am your fellow traveler walking through pressure with you. And this week it's been my privilege, my honor, my pure joy to discuss the idea of pressure and what it's doing to us, what it's done to us, not just how we handle it, but who we are after we've gone through it. So quick tie-in before we go forward. In the last series, remember that last series we did on the stance, how you stand under pressure? Yeah, we talked about this idea. That pressure can make you rush, wobble, it can make you overreact, it can make you try to do too much. And that one of the first skills that you have to learn as someone navigating this mystery we call life here is learning how to stabilize your stand when you're under pressure. So if you didn't hear that series which came before this series, please go back and look at stabilizing your stand under pressure. That was a great week we had together. This series is another layer. Because you see, after you stabilize your stance and you stop panicking and you stop wobbling under the pressure, something else becomes obvious. You look up and you realize you're not the same person you were before the pressure. Yeah. Yeah, it changed you. And that that change sort of has an influence in how you perceive winning. And it actually changes what winning even means. Yesterday, Take Action Tuesday, we talked about choosing direction before certainty. That we don't have to have clarity to make the move. Please revisit it if you didn't hear that yesterday. You know that one line matters, right? Choosing direction before before certainty. It does matter. Because when you when you understand it, you realize that's how people stop spiraling. You don't have to do everything. You don't have to be the answer for every single thing that's going on. You do you do one responsible thing, then you pause long enough to let your nervous system settle. And then you choose the next step. Sequence. We've been pushing this term when we talk about pressure. It's about your sequence. What's your sequence? Not your speed, not your strength, but your sequence. So today is all about what happens once you start moving again and you hit the bigger question. Okay, if I'm changed, what does winning look like now? How do I win now? Because it's win it all Wednesday, anyway. So let's talk about it. Look, most of us grow up, right, with the version of winning that's the loudest. Winning is the trophy. I've gotta get the trophy. Uh it's the promotion. Winning is the is this the title, the recognition coming first. Winning is getting back everything I lost. And look, all of those definitions, they're real. And they're important. I work in sports and entertainment, and yes, these things are important. But pressure does something really sneaky in these moments. Pressure can make you see how many of your old definitions of winning were really about proving yourself more than anything else, looking good in other people's eyes more than anything else. That's what pressure can reveal. Pressure can reveal if your definition is about keeping up or staying safe. You'll realize who you are when you're under pressure because some people under pressure just want to say stay stay safe. They don't want to be judged. Yeah. Pressure comes, life gets heavy, and the scoreboard in your head starts to put pressure on you, and you don't even notice it until the losing happens or something hits you. A diagnosis that rearranges your entire life, that shatters your world, right? A loved one that you can't get back. A job that you loved so much that you lose. You're an athlete and you get this disabling injury at the worst possible time. Now you feel invisible. Maybe you're somebody doing everything for everybody and quietly understanding and realizing nobody is checking back on you. Pressure. Here's the thing in those seasons, the old definition of winning doesn't fit anymore, does it? It doesn't feel available, it starts to feel irrelevant. That's when people get confused, they start thinking that they're losing motivation, maybe something's wrong with me because they're using this old definition of winning to describe and to fit into their current situation. But you know what I say? Maybe not. Sometimes what's really happening is that your identity is growing up. You know, that old definition of winning that you had doesn't fit. There's a quote I love from Billie Jean King, and it's real. It's it's it's a great quote. Pressure is a privilege and champions adjust. Pressure is a privilege, and champions adjust. What a mindset! Let that land. She's describing pressure as a privilege. And she's also telling me that the best of the best adjust. That's not a hypeline. That's a whole philosophy she's talking about. Pressure is a privilege, means that moments matter. The moment matters, and you're in it for a reason. Champions, champions adjust when she says that. It means that you don't demand the moment to feel easy. You don't demand life to be fair. You don't demand that your body, your team, your family, your situation cooperate perfectly in order for you to be a winner. You just adjust. Champions adjust. Where do you need to adjust today? Do you have an adjustment plan? So here's a key point today. Pressure doesn't only test your skills, it tests your definition of winning. Today is Win It All Wednesday, and I'm here to tell you that pressure is a test of your definition of what it is to win, of what it means to be a winner. What is your definition? And if you keep the same definition of winning in a new season that was for the old season, you're gonna suffer twice. Yeah. You're gonna suffer once from the pressure itself, and again from the story you tell yourself about what the pressure should mean because you're using the old definition. Let's get some science in here because I want you to understand this is science, soul, and success, right? So we always mix a little science in. So let's get some science in here because I want you to understand what's happening, not just feel inspired. When pressure hits, your brain does what a brain is supposed to do. It will narrow your focus, it will scan every environment for the tr for a threat, and it will start forecasting the outcomes. Narrow your focus, scan for threats, and start forecasting. What if this goes wrong? What if that goes wrong? What if this, you know, I call it the what if monsters come out, and that's useful in actual danger. You do want your brain to focus and narrow it so you can concentrate on the lion that's coming for you, right? You do want to scan the forest or the environment for a threat, obviously. And you definitely want to forecast the outcome. You this is all excellent. The brain is not wrong for doing this. The only thing is that in modern life, the pressure isn't a lion. Sometimes it's just a moment. A conversation could be the lion, a presentation that could be a lion in the new world, you know? A court date, a doctor's appointment, a tryout, a message you don't want to open. All of these could be the lions today, and your brain doesn't know the difference, it tends to do one of two things under pressure. It goes to threat mode using the amygdala, remember, our threat center in the brain, or to challenge mode, which is your prefrontal cortex, the PFC, that's the CEO of the brain, and that where you have analysis and planning and all of that. The PFC tends to be calmer, more rational. The threat center, the amygdala is like, look, we got to get you safe. So your brain is gonna make one of these two decisions threat or challenge. Threat mode, it sounds like this. If I fail, I'm cooked. If I mess up, I'm exposed. If I don't win, I'm nobody. Challenge mode sounds more like, well, this is tough, but I can respond to this. You know what? This matters, but I'm not really in danger. That's just me, that's just emotion, I know what to do. Or the challenge mode could sound like this moment is really important, but it doesn't define me. I know who I am. You see, that little shift matters because it changes what your body does. You see, what you think is gonna affect your physiology. So if you go into threat mode and you perceive pressure as a threat, you tighten up, your breathing is gonna get shallow. Remember, the brain's gonna narrow things, you're gonna be tunnel vision, you're not gonna see things in the periphery, you're not gonna be balanced, you're gonna be impulsive decisions, survival decisions, and that's the feeling you're gonna have because you're trying to survive. And if you're in a game and you go to threat mode, that's why sometimes you don't do well because you're in threat mode. Now, if you're in challenge mode, you look a little more steady, your breathing is steadier, you have a broader awareness, you have more flexible thinking if you see the pressure as your challenge or your gift. So when I say winning looks different now, part of what I'm saying is this your nervous system needs a different target. Not win or lose, not win or go home, not win or die. But I can something like this, I respond with skill and ability. Not as sexy as win or die or win or go home. I respond with skill and ability. It doesn't really do much, but it's real. That's a form of winning that pressure cannot steal. I respond with skill. That's what I do. I don't get into win or go home. I have skills and I'll use them. How's that for a mindset to deal with pressure, right? So let's bring the ancient wisdom in, right? We saw what the sign says, right? The brain will narrow. What does the ancient wisdom tell us? What does the scriptures say? And I want to use a lady today that I really respect, and I have a friend by the name of Esther. Esther, if you're listening, I love you. So, look, I want to let you know that this woman, Esther, in the ancient wisdom, was truly amazing. She was facing a moment where the wrong move could cost her her life, and the right move could save her people. Talk about pressure. Oh my goodness. She gets this line that's in the uh message Bible. Sorry, my KJV people, don't you worry, I will definitely start using KJV again, but I want to keep things simple for me. So I use the message Bible, and it says this in the message Bible about what Esther was dealing with. Uh, she gets this message maybe you were made queen for just such a time as this. That's the line I want us to focus on. Maybe you were made queen for just such a time as this, Esther. This is from Mordecai, who tells her this line when Esther's queen and her people are under a death sentence in Persia, and she's the only person positioned close enough to the king to be able to intervene. But here's the thing: speaking to this king is like putting your life into your hands. So Mordecai, Esther's cousin, who raised her, told he learns about this issue with the king and the king trying to like kill the Jews and all of that, and Esther, who is queen but hiding her Jewish identity, she's afraid to approach the king because anyone who comes unsummoned can be literally executed and killed. Unless the king extends his scepter. And I don't know about you, but some of these bosses we have, some of these people in power, they act like this, you know. So Mordecai tells her, Esther, you can't just be afraid, you just can't be quiet, you can't just be silent because she just wants to be quiet. She doesn't want to raise, she doesn't want to make any waves. He tells her, Mordecai tells her, look, your silence will not ultimately protect you. And he tells her this line, you know, maybe you were made queen for such a time as this. Maybe you were made queen for such a time as this. And you know what Esther does? She calls up her courage. But she doesn't just do that, she sequences herself, she does a three-day fast. She prays. And she goes in and she sees the king, fully aware that she could be killed. Talk about brave. Her action ultimately became the turning point. You know what I pulled from that ancient wisdom, and I love the ancient wisdom. There are several anchors for us in this. One, you are placed, my friend. You're not just present. Yeah. That line, you will make the ruler, the king, the queen for such a time as this. You were placed. You, you, I'm talking to you. Not you. You you the you were placed. You're not just present here. This is intentional. The position you're in right now is intentional. Esther was in the exact role at the exact moment for a purpose. It was not random or chance. Are you, perhaps, in the exact role at the exact moment for the exact time like this? Maybe. I'm just saying. And her silence was a decision. But Mordecai, her cousin, tells her, listen, you can't just be quiet. Because doing nothing, he told her, is still a choice. And it has consequences for her and for her people. She was queen, she was a leader. Leaders have to act because other people are depending on them. And being quiet and doing nothing, it is a choice and it has consequences. So that's important to know. So God's purpose was bigger than one person, right? So he always puts us in a position where other people are kind of looking at us and depending on us. And if we stay quiet, we'll miss our part in the story. If Esther stayed quiet, listen, Mordecai made it clear to her that look, other people can do will do this, but you were put here for a reason. So courage is what she needed, and she took she took action. But you know what? She didn't suddenly become fearless. And that's what I also loved about this. We saw a sequence. Remember, all week we've been talking about you've got to have a sequence. It's not about speed when you feel pressure, and Esther was definitely feeling pressure. What she did was she fasted, she prepared, she prayed, and then she took action. If I must die, I must die, I'll go forward. But she had a sequence. Yeah. For the high pressure, high stake moment. Is it pro sports? Is it leadership? Is it recovery? Whatever you're going through, your sequence matters. Position. Your position matters. And your position under pressure matters. Where am I right now? Am I on a team? Am I in the locker room? Am I uh in the kitchen? In the living room? Am I driving the bus? Am I flying the plane? What am I doing? Am I what where am I? Am I the leader? Where what am I doing? Right? Because your position matters. What's your role? Because you've been placed. And for this time, for such a time as this, no matter what pressure you're under, this is your placement. And the temptation could be to stay silent. The temptation could be to do nothing. Stay quiet about mental health, Dr. Sweet. Don't talk about mental health in sports. Don't speak up when a culture is toxic. Don't let yourself be known or heard. Avoid the conversation, that kind of thing, right? So Mordecai warns Esther against this. That you avoid the hard thing, it doesn't mean you're safe. It just shifts the costs later. You'll pay the Bill later, but you're gonna pay the bill. That's the thing. So the message from the ancient wisdom is that your purpose is always bigger than your performance. Yeah. And remember, the whole the whole thing we're talking about here is that pressure changes your identity. You're an athlete, you're a high performer, you're a business person, whatever you are, your mom, your dad, right? You're more than your stat line. You're more than the functions that you do. You are strategically placed, my friend, to impact somebody else. Not just to score points, not just to cook food, not just to provide counseling. Yeah. Your purpose is bigger than your performance. Your contract, your city, your current season, your injury, your setback. This is all part of a larger assignment that may not be visible yet, but it's very real. Yeah. And let's figure out, and we're gonna close with this. Esther took three little steps that I think set up the framework for Take Action Tuesday. Queen Esther gives us the the ancient wisdom is telling us what this the the the sequence is. Alright? You could this is it. Notice your placement. Where has life put you right now? And who's depending on you? Team, family, community? Notice your placement. That's step one. Name the risk. What am I afraid will happen if I speak up or if I act? Am I afraid of rejection? Am I gonna get cut from the roster? Will I be criticized, laughed at? Will this create conflict? What's the challenge? You notice the placement, you name the risk and face it, and then choose one courageous act. What's your version of walking into the throne room to talk to the king this week? Right? One email, one text, one honest conversation. What is it you have to do? Because Esther reminds us, the ancient wisdom reminds us, that you're not in this season by accident. You're not where you are by accident. You are in that space, that locker room, that office, that family, that moment for such a time as this. And staying quiet and playing small is still a decision. And it has its own consequences. That's up to you. This week, this week, don't just feel the pressure. Step into your purpose inside the pressure. Understand that you have been placed for such a time as this, my friend. Wow, wow. Sometimes winning isn't getting what you want. Sometimes winning is being who you are in the moment you're in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's it. Thank you for listening. What does winning look like this season for you? What does winning look like in the reality that you are? The answer is not just to do more. It's about understanding your identity, who you've become. And if your old definition of winning can't survive pressure, it wasn't meant for you. Because this is the thing. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, you're powerful, and it doesn't matter what changes on the outside, on the inside, you've got something greater than what's in the world. I'm Dr. Derek Sweet. Thank you so much for listening to The Sweet Spot. Tomorrow is Trust Yourself Thursday, and we're going to take this even deeper. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Because once the winning evolves, trust has to evolve too. A lot of people say they trust themselves, but after pressure, trust gets more cautious. It gets shaken by betrayal. It can be shaken by failure. Trust can be shaken by exhaustion and tired and fatigue. Tomorrow we're gonna talk more about that. We're gonna see what self-trust looks like when doubt is present. And I hope you'll join me for that. I think it's gonna be amazing to have that conversation with you. Alright, sweet champs. We did it. If this episode gave you language for this season that you're in in life, subscribe. It's free. And share it with somebody who's quietly in need of redefining their life right now. Share it with somebody who needs to understand for such a time as this, this is the position that you're in. Pressure is a privilege, and champions are just. Love and blessings. I'll see you tomorrow.