Take Action Tuesday Setup

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It is Take Action Tuesday. Can you believe it? We're doing it here. Take Action Tuesday. And you're in the sweet spot. Thank you for joining me. I'm Dr. Derek Sweet. I'm a board-certified psychiatrist. I work in elite and high performance circles. More than that, I'm your teammate. I've been saying this all along for many years. You and I are teammates. We're teammates in the game of life. This week, sweet spotters, this week we've been doing an amazing series here. A really cool series. It's called the Adult Rhymes Series. And we're taking nursery rhymes and we're turning them into these adult moments where we can have an adult conversation about them. So good morning, good afternoon, and good evening. I don't know where this finds you, but welcome, welcome back to the sweet spot. I'm your host and I'm looking forward to having a fun time with you as we go through these wonderful adult rhymes. And if you were with us yesterday for Making Moves Monday, you heard about the amazing racing. I'm still happy because I got so much cool feedback about this idea of being nimble, being quick, and jumping over the candlestick. Oh, good old Jack. If you haven't heard that one, go back and listen to Makey Moves Monday. It was quite cool. So this week, this this day on the sweet spot, today, today, Take Action Tuesday, we're trying something a little different. Yesterday, with Jack, Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, we were getting ready. But today is about taking action because today's Take Action Tuesday, and here's what I want you to understand right from the start. Taking action doesn't mean charging forward. I know when we hear that, we think that that is what taking action is, and in many cases it is, but it's not always the case. Sometimes taking action means knowing when to stay, and sometimes, just sometimes, taking action means leaving. So both of those things require a certain level of discernment and a certain level of courage. But what is today's rhyme? Well, I got a good one for you. You ready? Alright, let's do this. Little Miss Muffet sat on a Tuffet eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider who sat down beside her and frightened Miss Muffet away. You remember that one, right? Little Miss Muffet sitting on the Tuffet eating curds and whey. You remember that one. Three lines. A peaceful moment for Miss Muffet. But she gets an unexpected disruption, right? And then there's this response. A response that she gives. She runs away. And I think this has been misunderstood for centuries. Because here's what I want to ask you today. Was Miss Muffet wrong to run away? And by the way, who is Miss Muffet? Just like yesterday on Mickey Woo's Monday with Jack, right? We were like, who's Jack? Who is this Miss Muffet? What she has no title. She's not Miss Muffet the executive or Miss Muffet the elite athlete. She's just Miss Muffet. Sitting peacefully, minding her business, snacking, having something to eat. When something unexpected shows up and changes and disrupts everything. And I want to be clear right from the start. Fear does not discriminate. Fear doesn't care about your gender. It doesn't care if you're a man or a woman. Doesn't care what you are. Fear doesn't care about your title, your age, what's on your resume, what you can bench press or not, how fast you run. Fear is universal. We all, every last one of us, feels it and understands it. And so is courage. Courage is also universal, and it takes courage to respond. And sometimes it takes more courage to respond wisely than to just react. Now let's go back to my question. Who's basically a stand-in for any one of us? Was Miss Muffet wrong to run? Here's where it gets interesting, sweet spotter. What, just what, if that wasn't a spider? Some harmless little spider, right? What if it was a black widow, the most poisonous, deadliest of spiders? What if it ran under the Tuffet or whatever she was sitting on? What if you couldn't see it? Like what if it was like moving quickly around you? What if it was a rattlesnake, a mamba, or something? What if it was a lion? Suddenly, I I think you agree with me, suddenly, uh running away or getting the heck out of there. I think any one of us would bounce. Like if that was the case, right? You saw a lion, a tiger, a rattlesnake, something was moving towards you like that. We'd bounce. I don't think Miss Muffet was wrong to bounce. Suddenly, uh running doesn't look like weakness to me anymore. Suddenly, actually, the running away looks like the wise thing to do, it looks like wisdom. Suddenly, Miss Muffet might be the smartest person in the room. And to me, that changes everything about how we interpret this story. And because we're the sweet spot, you know we're about science and soul and success, and you know I'm gonna bring the science in. Well, here's a place where the amygdala makes sense for us, right? A big spider, a snake, something, you know. Look, it's coming at you. Her amygdala, the brain's alarm system, fired immediately. We talk about the amygdala here on the sweet spot a lot, about the threat center of the brain. This triggers the fight, flight, or freeze response. There are three responses when we are faced with the danger, typically. We can fight it, we can run away from it, that's uh, or we can freeze. You see it on the Discovery Channel all the time when some big old leopard is coming after a little deer or something, and that thing either starts to fly and f or it it freezes and it tries not to move. And when it's caught, it's gotta fight. Those are the three responses that was available to Miss Muffet as she sat on her Tuffet eating her curd and whey. Yeah, she she could have her amygdala said, Look, you have to fight, to flight, or to freeze. She flew, she took off. You see, when the amygdala response is a cascade of stress hormones, including cortisol and adrenaline, that prepare the body to do one of these things. To confront the threat or to escape it. Miss Muffet, she chose to escape it. And here's what's critical that response has kept human beings like Miss Muffet and our ancestors alive for hundreds of thousands of years, sweet spotters. The fight, flight, freeze response is not a malfunction. No, sir. It's a feature. It's a feature of being human. It's your brain doing exactly what it was designed to do. Assess the threat, make a decision, and take action to protect yourself. It's Take Action Tuesday. The real question neuroscience asks is not did you run, but rather did you assess the threat accurately? Did Miss Muffet actually assess this threat accurately? Maybe she did. Because you see, if she did and it was the wrong uh something poisonous, something that was gonna hurt her, listen, we should all be bouncing, we should all be out of there. But sometimes things aren't actually dangerous. When we avoid a conversation or an opportunity or to grow out of an irrational fear or something, we're misfiring the amygdala, we're misfiring the alarm system, and the amygdala is triggering uh a response against something harmless. Maybe it's a tiny little spider, and the amygdala overreacted, whatever it is. But when we accurately assess a genuine threat, a toxic relationship, for example, could be a genuine threat, a dangerous environment could be a genuine threat, an unhealthy situation, whatever it is. We are right, like Miss Muffet, to remove ourselves. We're using our brain's wisdom exactly like Miss Muffet wanted us to do. She modeled that for us. When the danger is assessed to be too much, you should bounce. The prefrontal cortex and the anterior cinglet cortex, remember those brain structures we always talk about? The brain's CEO and the brain's error detector? Those two love to work together. We've talked about them a lot here on the sweet spot. Yeah, these two they work together and they evaluate threats all day long. Our PFC and our ACC are working together to evaluate threats, to weigh the options and make an intentional decision. And that's not running from fear when they make the decision, it's discernment in action. So look, for you today, taking action may mean charging forward, or it may mean walking away. But either way, you just have to be intentional, you just have to know what you're doing. In the in the Buddhist wisdom, the Eastern wisdom, uh, they explain it beautifully. Have you ever heard about this story of the two arrows? I'll explain it to you. In Buddhism, there's a teaching about the two arrows. The first arrow is the painful event. That's like the spider sitting beside you. The spider that just comes and sits beside you. But the second arrow is the suffering you create by your reaction to the event, by panicking, catastrophizing, overreacting, or by staying in a really dangerous scenario out of fear, out of pride, out of stubbornness, refusing to leave the situation. So those are the two arrows. The first painful one, and then the suffering that comes from the second arrow, which is our own response. In Buddhism, they teach you and they encourage us to feel the first arrow, feel it, acknowledge the fear, acknowledge the disruption, the challenge that's before you. Sometimes the wisdom says stay. Sometimes the wisdom says go. But wisdom is never driven by panic alone. That's the idea. Do you get that? The two arrows? Wonderfully put, wonderfully spoken. And Sun Tzu, the Art of War, great book that we will cover eventually. In this book, Sun Tzu's Art of War, which is another cornerstone of Eastern strategic thinking, and I'd like to bring in East and West so that we can see that our brothers and sisters from other sides of our geographical experience are grappling with the same thing. In Sun Tzu's Art of War, he says retreating is sometimes the most powerful tactical move you can make. It is one of the greatest actions you could take, is sometimes to retreat. Sun Tzu teaches that the goal is never to fight just to fight. The goal is never to fight for fighting's sake. You know what the goal is in the art of war? It's victory. Yes. And sometimes, according to him, victory means living to fight another day. Do you get that? Miss Muffet retreating from a poisonous spider is not defeat or weakness. It is strategy. She lives to fight another day, smart little Miss Muffet. The lesson is this, sweet spotters. Taking action here on Take Action Tuesday requires what Miss Muffet showed. Discernment. Discernment. Know your spider. That's what I'm trying to get across in case somebody thinks I'm really talking about just actual spiders. No, uh know your spider. What's your spider? Assess your threat. What is threatening you? What has come and sat beside you while you were just minding your business and trying to move in on you? You should know your spider, assess your threat, and then act, take an action with intention. Act intentionally, act purposefully, and act wisely. Whether that's charging forward head on or removing yourself from it and bouncing because this is not the space and the time. If it's good enough for the art of war, if it's good enough for warriors to use this tactic, it's good enough for us. And maybe little Miss Muffet is smarter than we think. You know, I never close without talking about the ancient wisdom. What does Little Miss Muffet, who sat on her toffet, eating her curds and whey, when along came a spider and sat down beside her and frightened Miss Muffet away? What does that have to do, Dr. Sweet, with the ancient wisdom? Well, here's what I got for you. That ancient wisdom just never ceases to amaze me. You can always find something for yourself. In Proverbs verse 3, it's Proverbs 22, verse 3. Yes. In Proverbs 22, verse 3, it says this. The prudent, the wise, see danger and take refuge. But the simple keep going and pay the penalty. Let that land. Let that sink in for a second. This is the ancient wisdom talking thousands of years before Miss Muffet sat on her toughness. The prudent see danger and they take refuge. But the simple keep going and pay the penalty. You know what this is? For me, Miss Muffet running from a genuinely dangerous spider is not being fearful. She's being prudent. She's being wise. And the ancient wisdom honors her for that. Because if she sat there and got her foot bit and then died of sepsis, or something like that, like you know, she ended up losing her le a limb, I don't know. She pays the penalty. And that's what this proverb is telling us that the wise can see the problem, they can speak, they see the danger, and they're not afraid to run or to move away. They listen to the amygdala, in other words. But the simple just keep going and they ignore it, and guess what? They pay the price. Now, lest you think I'm only talking about running away. No, no, the ancient wisdom tackles this from both angles. It also reminds us that look, in Joshua it says, Have I not commanded you to be strong and courageous? Don't be afraid, do not be discouraged, for God, the Lord your God, will be with you wherever you go. So here's the tension the scripture is holding for us. It's giving us both sides of the thing. You can be prudent and wise enough to recognize real danger and take refuge. But if it's a battle that you're meant to fight, you are commanded to be courageous enough not to let irrational fear drive you away from the things God has placed in front of you. Sometimes you do have to face Goliath, and He's gotta go down. Yeah, and look, just to balance it out, because this is so which battle do I fight? Which battle look, the bite the beautiful thing about the ancient wisdom is they got it all covered. If you're wrestling, as to when is the time to do this? How should I do this? Is the right time? Here's what it says in Ecclesiastes. There's a time for everything. Uh yeah, and a season for every activity under the heavens. A time to stay, a time to go, a time to fight, a time to retreat. I'm not making this up. This is actually in The Ancient Wisdom. Gives you goosebumps because it's like, wait a second. They thought of everything. So little Miss Muffet. She knew what time it was. It was time to get up and get out of there. Oh, yes, sir. You know, somebody told me the other day I was talking about about this. They said, look, maybe Big Miss Muffet came by and stepped on the spider after. I'm like, I don't know, dude. Like, leave me alone. Alright? All I know is that you gotta make a decision. It's take action Tuesday. Is your decision to face this thing realistically, to be courageous and know that God is gonna go with you and you're gonna handle it? Or is it to walk away from something right now that doesn't make sense to you, that is of danger to you, and have the courage to do that? And for our sisters of faith out there, my warriors, many, many warriors that I have out there, our sisters of faith. Consider Deborah and Judges in the ancient wisdom. A judge, a prophet, a military commander. She was all three. When others hesitated, men hesitated, she took the sides of action. She didn't run from her spider. She faced it. She was strategic, she was courageous, and she really listened to her divine wisdom. She was obedient. She was a really powerful woman back then during a time where there were many spiders around her. And she's the model for taking action when staying. And fighting is the right call. So you got Deborah and you got Little Miss Muffet. Both modeling for us what we should do according to what's in front of us. So if you're a student, ask yourself: is the spider in front of you genuinely dangerous? Or is it that you just have to study harder? If you're an athlete, your spider might be the fear of performing after an injury, coming back after a big injury. Can you do it? Will you get hurt again? Ask yourself, is this fear protecting me from real harm or is it holding me back from my potential? Maybe you're a first responder, you're a medical professional, you know better than anyone that tactical retreat is sometimes the most professional and life-saving thing you can do. Pulling back from a collapsing structure and stepping away from a volatile situation and calling for backup, those are not weak actions. That's wisdom in action. Come on now. Listen, you're a business professional, you're a big time executive. Congratulations. Your spider, you know what your spider might be? It might be a toxic partnership at the office. It might be one of your ventures that's actually failing. Maybe there's a relationship you're in that's draining your organization. Yeah, those are all spiders. You know what taking action could be? Walking away like Miss Muffet. Like they say in Trinidad, it takes two hands to clap. You have to be able to sort of not be part of it if you don't have to be there. Not every spider deserves your attention or presence. Get out of there. Thank you, Miss Muffet. So look, if you're dealing with an illness, an injury, if you're dealing with grief or a dangerous relationship, please hear me clearly. Leaving is sometimes the bravest, most powerful thing you can do. Yeah. And do it in a way that's safe for you. Yeah, this is the sweet spot. This is Take Action Tuesday. Whatever your spider looks like today, sweet spotter, the message is the same. Know your spider. Assess the threat. And take action. Whether that's staying or bouncing. You get it? Alright, we went in today. Oh, we went in with Miss Muffet today. So you know what? As we close, and you you think about it. Do you have the wisdom to know which spider you're facing? Think about it. Think about it and then make a decision. If you are enjoying this little series we're doing here on the adult rides, I invite you to subscribe. It's completely free. We don't always have this much fun like this. We're just riffing and having fun with uh adult rhymes. This is hilarious to me, but I love it. And if you know someone who could benefit from this, please share it with them. Tomorrow, sweet spotters, is Win It All Wednesday, where we talk about what it takes to go all the way and finish what you started. You don't want to miss it. Until then, be well, be wise, take your action, and I'll see you for signs for soul and more success tomorrow.