Welcome And The Week’s Theme

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Greetings and welcome. Welcome back to the sweet spot. This is Dr. Derek Sweet here. I am delighted again to join you here on the Sweet Spot where we are having a wonderful conversation this week with my good friend Kendall Glassby, somebody I call KG. He's KG to me. You know, Kendall, I have to tell you yesterday we talked about, oh boy, this whole idea of making moves, and you revolutionized for me how I thought about making moves Monday. It's now not gonna be the same for me because I was just in the understanding of making moves Monday is making the move. You added a frame for me, which is the destination. Where are we headed? Have I thought about that? And so for those of you who didn't hear our conversation yesterday about making moves and this destination and all the other insights that KG dropped on us, I invite you, I really do, to go back and listen. You won't be disappointed. And so we find ourselves today, sweet spot is in Take Action Tuesday. And for those of you who are part of the Sweet Spot, you know that this is what we do. We we we look at actions and we say that nothing happens until something moves. And honestly, that actions, as cliche as this sounds, as much of it as a cliche as this is gonna sound, I am gonna say it out loud because actions do speak louder than words in many ways. And I gotta tell you, KG, I'd love to hear your take on Take Action Tuesday about how do you view actions? When you interview or you look at people, because I know in your role as a district manager for Community Board 10 in Harlem, which is a huge deal, in my view, I know you come across all kinds of people and you come across all kinds of situations and uh in life as well. Have you do you put any premium on actions? Uh and how what does action mean to you in terms of when you look at someone's actions

Actions Show What We Value

SPEAKER_01 2:25

or you don't? I want to put it in that frame.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

Yeah, that's a that's a great question. Um, I agree with you wholeheartedly that actions speak louder than words. Um, there's a few things that I that I want to say. Um you can you can tell, in my opinion, you can tell very clearly what someone values by how they spend their time, what they spend their money on, and what actions they invest in, right? And it's very interesting in working in close proximity to um politicians, uh elected officials, and individuals that aspire to be in that space. Uh being in a space is very, very interesting. It is one of the only professions where you can gain traction by just talking. Not necessarily being in action. And unfortunately, um we're in a space where there's a lot of mistrust in what's happening in our in our government, right? The words don't match the action, and vice versa. So it's also a safeguard, right? Because I I'll be a hundred percent. I don't always have a hundred percent to put forward, or I don't always fill up to the task, right? But if I am governed by my my feelings, my progression is going to be fleeing, right? So action is also a reinforcement of and uh uh acknowledgement of commitment that I am going to not just feel something, not just say something, but take intentional steps towards rendering a solution and bringing about some type of action or change.

SPEAKER_01 4:48

Wow. Well, KG, I gotta tell you, man, that's why I love you, dude. Uh you you just have a way of speaking it that that just clarifies things to me. What I got from what you just said there was the idea that I can't just feel it. I can't feel it. But I've gotta take a step to do something about it. Don't just feel it, do something about it. And then what I also got from that is make sure my actions align with my words.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

No, it it's it's unfortunate, right? Um, that it's so prevalent and public that you can achieve some level of success without your words and actions being succinct. So when I think about um my faith, when I think about um who I want to be remembered as, it's important to model that those things mean something, that my words and actions should match to the extent possible.

Autopilot Habits And Self Check-Ins

SPEAKER_00 6:05

But I also want to shift a little bit. I believe I heard this on the sweet spot. It's it's also an opportunity to check in with self. Because a lot of things that we do, actions, are on autopilot. We're on autopilot a lot of the time. And sometimes we don't check in to think about why I am actually doing what I'm doing. Right? We're just doing it because it's what we've always done, or it's what someone else has always done, or we believe it's expected of us, but we don't really check in to see if those actions really align with our soul, where we where we want to be in the near future, where we see our future selves, right? Because if if we continuously take actions that are causing us to deviate from our true self, you are actively being at disservice to yourself.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

That's so true. It is so true. And I feel as if uh when you're not in awareness, you don't even realize what's happening. And then one day you wake up and you wonder, how come I'm over here? What when did this happen? How did it, how did we get here? This happens sometimes in relationships where we're an autopilot in the relationship or autopilot on the job, which is we're fulfilling all the actions, and there's activity and there's all this activity, but it's misaligned. It's incongruent. It's not what we really want to do or should even be doing, but we've become accustomed to it, we're automated by it, and it brings us a degree of comfort because we know it, and so it becomes habitual.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

Yeah. It's familiar and we we we get something from it. Whether we want to recognize it or or not, anytime we say something, we're saying it for a reason. Anytime we do something, we're doing it for a reason, right? I've I've, I think I said this to you, I've landed on um in terms of trying to make sense of, you know, folk that take extreme actions, you know, based on my limited understanding of life, right? Uh hard drug use or just doing things that I personally wouldn't do. At the end of the day, we all do things to feel or to not feel. It's that simple, right? So if I'm taking an action, right, a consistent action, it is reinforcing something. I am getting something from it. But it's important to check in and understand what am I getting from it versus what do I actually want to get from it? Or am I just settling?

SPEAKER_01 9:12

Oh my God, KG, man. Why are you doing this to me today? Why are you doing this to me today? All right, we gotta dig into this even more, right? Okay,

The Payoff Behind Action And Inaction

SPEAKER_01 9:20

so yes, what was coming up for me as you say this, brother, is you in a way, I feel as if you're tying actions to the payoff. And I didn't look at it that way when we came up with Take Action Tuesday here on the Sweet Spot. We just came up with the action because we figured that lots of times we we suffer from analysis, paralysis kind of thing, and that you just have to take action. Like a lot of times we just don't take action because we're afraid. So that was the focus. But talking to you now, brother PG, my guy. Talking to you, I'm now beginning to think about the payoff for either not taking action or taking action.

SPEAKER_00 10:02

Nigga? Yeah, there's a payoff. There is a payoff, and inaction is a choice. You know, you can do nothing. That that isn't action. Right? I mean, if I just stay still and not try to do anything, my my chest is still moving. It's going up and down. Yeah. To be completely still, that that I have to be intentional about doing something. Um but yeah, taking action is yeah, it should be connected to a payoff. Right. If you if you think about any typical day, whether you express it or not, there are numerous goals that you have set for yourself. From your morning routine, I'm I'm going to make sure I don't go into the world with my breath stinking, right? And that I look presentable, right? Those are all mini goals that we set every single day, right? And those are also part of being um on autopilot, right? But when you step outside of that and you and you think about taking action for you, whose responsibility is that at the end of the day? Sometimes we get upset with others when they don't do X, Y, and Z for us. We have an expectation, right? Sometimes we get upset because we're not where we believe we should be or where we want to be. Right? The only way that for me, I'll speak for myself, that that brings me comfort and uh and and my satisfactory of of life is knowing one, as you say, the best is yet to come. I'm still arriving, and part of my arriving is my responsibility. I have to continuously set myself up to be arriving, and that requires ongoing action.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

Hmm, a commitment under the action, right? What am I committed to is what I'm also hearing. And I'm also thinking, as you said, this idea of expecting others to expecting others to take actions so that I could be okay. I'm thinking of myself, like we have been guilty of that. We have been like, well, I expect Darcell, my wife, to have something ready for me or do something for me. And it's an unspoken expectation that this she's gotta take this action so that I could get the payoff or whatever from what she's doing. And and so if I don't get that, then I become miserable or difficult or get mad about it. And that's also a bit of an audit that has to be done. Where are we as human beings not taking responsibility for the actions, our happiness, our joy, uh, we're really in charge of that. That's what I'm hearing underneath everything he's he's saying to me. Is that you we're in charge of like every action we have to take to help ourselves?

SPEAKER_00 13:28

That's the only thing you have control over is yourself. And and at the end of the day, well, what's the saying? You're you're born looking like your parents, you die looking like your choices. Our lives are a collection of choices, which in default are our actions.

SPEAKER_01 13:53

100%, man. Like, can you say that again? You're born looking like your parents.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

You're born looking like your parents, uh-huh, but you die looking like your choices.

unknown 14:05

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

And you also added that choices are essentially a collection of actions. That's right. My goodness. That is empowering to me in some ways. It's a little bit scary, but it's also empowering to know that I have the choice to choose which action I'm going to do today. What

Social Media Dopamine And Lost Time

SPEAKER_01 14:33

action I'm gonna take.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

Yeah, and it's it's mind-blowing, it's scary because there's so many things competing for your time and energy, your actions. There's so many individuals that are content with just simply taking the action of swiping their thumb up and down. Can spend hours just swiping their thumb up and down. And it's time that you will never ever get back. And when you think about the the reward aspect of it, yeah, your dopamines are spiking, but at the end of the day, what do you walk away from that exchange with? You're talking about social media, like I am I am absolutely talking about social media. And you can you can't.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

Like, I do, I do, it's a problem. There's always on my case about it. Because I could be in the middle of like a serious like report or something. And if two seconds, if I let go for two seconds, I take and I pick up my phone, and like you said, the thumb, it becomes an automatic action after a while. It's an autopilot. It's just what let me just check the top real quick. There's no such thing as real quick. That's at least five, ten minutes.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

And think about it, and here's here's a deeper question for you, and I'm I'm guilty as well. In those moments, you would you are taking the action to feel something or to not feel something.

unknown 16:22

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

Right? And at the end of the day, you walk away with your thumb being a little bit stronger. That doesn't help you in life.

unknown 16:33

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

So we are creatures of habit, and those who are in quote unquote the supply chain, to use your talk from uh yesterday. Uh, the the idea of like whoever thought of this is brilliant because they understand that we want to take that action to get that dopamine and the reward and the payoff. Whoever thought of this, advertisers understand the connection between actions and payoff. Drink this or eat this, and you will feel this way or you will look this way. All of it is tied into the action and the payoff. And I would like us, all of us listening today to Kendall's talk here with me, to think about, to think about your actions. Think about our actions. Every action we take today, let's do an audit. Kendall, that's what you're making me uh write down here. I'm gonna do an audit of the actions that I take, every single action I take, and to and to tie it into something you said brilliantly that I don't want to miss, is that what am I avoiding or what am I getting a payoff for for each action that I've taken today on Take Action Tuesday?

SPEAKER_00 17:52

Yeah, may I add one more thing to that?

Time As Currency And Loving On Purpose

SPEAKER_01 17:55

Please do, brother. You've been nothing but uh spectacular here. Go right ahead.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

So, for someone who I don't like being controlled. I don't want to control anyone, but I don't like being controlled. I know that about myself, right? I'm gonna also challenge you to think about as a consumer, as a consumer, right? That means that you're you're willingly spending your money on things. But I also want you to think about being a consumer for um in terms of time, how you use your time. Who and what do you give free time away to willingly? And then I want you to think about the people that you claim to love the most. Do those time commitments equal each other? Is one greater than the other? Do your words match your action when you talk about the people that you love and are important in your lives?

SPEAKER_01 19:18

Yeah, is it in the phone or is it in the person and uh yeah, or the activity or the diversion or the habit or the family? I love that because that brings it directly home for us to think through. What are we devoting our time to? Because time is a currency, right? Exactly. Yeah, yeah, and it's sort of invisible, but it's a big deal. And as you said, KG, several things are competing for our time. Because I believe, to your point, time is where the action, it's like the container for all the actions. So if I can get your time as an advertiser or an influencer or whatever, if I can get your time, I know I'm gonna get a series of actions out of you.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

So where am I putting my time? Did I call my mom today? Yeah, I call my mom every night, by the way. So I love her and I and I hope she's listening so I can score some points right here. But seriously, it's like calling your parents or your loved ones. It's like going out with your kids and spending the time to do homework with them.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:35

Even with yourself.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

Even with yourself. Our end goal, as we spoke about being a collection of choices, it takes time. Like we're consistently planting seeds. Now, if I'm if I'm occupied over here, I'm planting seeds over here. If I'm occupied over here, I'm planting seeds over here. But it is my my belief that there are but so many seeds that you can plant on social media and get a reasonable return. Your ROI is never gonna be as good as investing time and energy into the people that you love and claim to care about.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

Well, yeah, as you sow social and you read, the ancient wisdom speaks to this directly. The ancient wisdom also talks about the idea that there's a time for everything and a place. That there is this, we have to understand that because if we don't manage it, then it will manage us. It will manage us. And and we say we're so independent, we say we're so autonomous, we say all this stuff, but we're like sheep headed to the slaughter in many ways. You and this ancient wisdom is crazy how it it ties into today. Where we Being led, where am I being a sheep? Alright,

Action Audit And Tomorrow’s Winning Talk

SPEAKER_01 22:04

that's it. That's it. I'm gonna have to cut down my TikTok behavior now. Kendall, thank you so much for this time that you put in today and the actions that we're taking to unpack how this action and payoff and time and all of this stuff uh clear weave so that we can look at ourselves and look at what we are devoting our intentions, time, and our energies to, and how this level of awareness can help us be better, better stewards of the actions that we're gonna take here on Take Action Tuesday as we conclude this conversation with the great Kendall Glassby KG. KG, look, man, I gotta tell you, this has been amazing. Um, tomorrow is Win It All Wednesday, and we talk about winning. And I'd love to let you know that when we come back, I'd love to hear your thoughts tomorrow on winning. Would that be okay?

SPEAKER_00 23:06

Yeah, let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

All right, well, I'm excited for science and for solo for success. You've been listening to The Sweet Spot. I'm Dr. Derek Sweet. We've been interviewing Kendall Glassby, and we're gonna be back tomorrow to win. Don't miss us. Do not miss tomorrow.